AI can’t replace friends. Here’s how to make real ones in 2026

It’s late. Everyone you could message is asleep, or busy, or you’re not sure they’d want to hear from you. So you open a chatbot and type the thing you haven’t said out loud. It answers straight away, kindly, and asks how you’re feeling. For a moment, the room feels a little less empty.

If that’s you, you’re not weird, weak or doing anything wrong. You’re lonely, and so are a great many people. In June 2025, the World Health Organization’s Commission on Social Connection estimated that about one in six people worldwide are affected by loneliness, with young people affected most. Reaching for whatever is there at 1am is completely normal.

So this isn’t a telling-off. Two things can be true at once. AI can comfort you, and it still can’t be your friend. And making real friends in 2026 is hard, but it’s more doable than it feels tonight.

Why talking to a chatbot can feel like a relief

Let’s be fair to the comfort first. In a set of five studies published in the Journal of Consumer Research, Harvard Business School researcher Julian De Freitas and colleagues found that chatting with an AI companion eased loneliness about as much as chatting with another person, and more than watching YouTube. The key ingredient was feeling heard. And when Stanford researchers surveyed 1,006 students who used the companion app Replika, 3% said it had halted their suicidal thoughts. That’s self-reported, but for those students it mattered.

The limits matter too. De Freitas’s studies measured short-term effects, and the authors say AI companions shouldn’t be a substitute for human companionship or therapy. In a four-week trial published by MIT Media Lab and OpenAI in 2025, 981 people used ChatGPT every day. Those who used it most each day reported more loneliness, more dependence on it and less socialising with other people. Lonelier people may simply reach for the chatbot more, so this doesn’t prove the AI caused it. But feeling better tonight and feeling less alone in your life aren’t quite the same thing.

So why isn’t a chatbot a friend?

Here’s our view, rather than a lab result. Friendship isn’t only about feeling understood. It’s two lives touching. There are a few things a model can’t give you:

• Someone who needs you back. A friend has bad weeks you can help with. In a 2003 study of older married couples, Stephanie Brown and colleagues found that giving support to others was linked to a lower risk of dying over five years, while receiving support made no difference once giving was taken into account. Being someone’s person seems to matter, not just having one.
• A life of their own. A friend has a history and a future that don’t revolve around you. An AI companion is a product that can change overnight. When Replika changed how its companions behaved in 2023, De Freitas and colleagues found that users who felt their companion had become someone else grieved for it.
• A choice. A friend could have said no to tonight, and didn’t. Something that’s always available never had to choose you.

None of this makes you silly for finding comfort in a chatbot. It just means you deserve more than comfort. You deserve people.

Why making friends feels so hard right now

If you’ve been finding this difficult, it really isn’t just you. In a May 2021 survey by the Survey Center on American Life, 12% of Americans said they had no close friends at all. When Gallup asked in 1990, it was 3%. The two surveys were run differently, so treat that as a rough picture rather than a precise trend, but the direction is hard to miss. Add long hours, moving for work, and a feed full of other people’s plans, and it’s no wonder so many of us feel behind.

The hopeful part: friendship isn’t a talent some people are born with. It’s mostly small moments, repeated. Here are a few the research suggests are worth trying.

How to make real friends in 2026

1. Start smaller than “friend”

You don’t need to find a best friend this month. In a 2014 study, Gillian Sandstrom and Elizabeth Dunn asked people to keep count of their everyday interactions with close friends and with acquaintances, or “weak ties”: the neighbour, the regular at the gym, the colleague you only nod to. On days when people talked with more weak ties than usual, they felt happier and more like they belonged. It’s correlational, but it’s a kind reminder that small chats count. Some of those people become friends. All of them make a day feel less lonely.

2. Ask the second question

You don’t have to be witty or have great stories. In a 2017 set of studies, Karen Huang and colleagues at Harvard found that people who asked more questions, especially follow-up questions, were liked more by the person they were talking to, largely because they came across as more responsive. People didn’t expect asking questions to make them more likeable. So when someone mentions their weekend, skip the polished story about yours and ask, “Oh, how did that go?”

3. Call instead of texting

Texting feels safer. You can edit, delete, hide. But in 2021, Amit Kumar and Nicholas Epley found that conversations that included voice, by phone, video or voice chat, created stronger bonds than text-based ones, and weren’t any more awkward, even though people expected them to be. If a message thread with someone is going well, try “Fancy a quick call?”

4. Let someone need you

Giving matters, as the Brown study suggests. Offer the lift, drop round the book you mentioned, ask a colleague how their awful week turned out. And let people help you too. Asking someone to water your plants or recommend a dentist is a small way of letting them into your life.

5. Use AI as a rehearsal, not a replacement

If a chatbot helps you work out what to say, or settles your nerves before something social, that’s a reasonable use. Then take what you practised to a person. One habit worth trying: for every late-night chat with AI, send one message to a human, even if it’s just “thinking of you”.

If loneliness feels heavy right now

Sometimes loneliness isn’t a diary problem. It sits on your chest and makes everything harder, including reaching out. If that’s where you are, please talk to someone soon. Your GP or doctor can help. In the UK and Ireland, you can call Samaritans free, any time, on 116 123. Wherever you are, local crisis lines are there for exactly this. Wanting a human to listen is never too much to ask.

If you’d like someone to talk to

Everconnected is a place to meet like-minded people, find community and have genuine conversations, one to one, by voice. It isn’t a crisis or mental health service. It’s free to join: create an account at app.everconnected.com, or get the app from the App Store or Google Play.

Questions people ask

Sources

1. World Health Organization (2025, 30 June). Social connection linked to improved health and reduced risk of early death (news release on the WHO Commission on Social Connection report, From loneliness to social connection). www.who.int/news/item/30-06-2025-social-connection-linked-to
2. De Freitas, J., Oğuz-Uğuralp, Z., Uğuralp, A. K., & Puntoni, S. (2025). AI companions reduce loneliness. Journal of Consumer Research, 52(6), 1126-1148 (preprint arXiv:2407.19096). doi.org/10.1093/jcr/ucaf040
3. Harvard Business School Working Knowledge. Feeling lonely? An attentive listener is an AI prompt away (on De Freitas et al.). www.library.hbs.edu/working-knowledge/feeling-lonely-an-atte
4. Maples, B., Cerit, M., Vishwanath, A., & Pea, R. (2024). Loneliness and suicide mitigation for students using GPT3-enabled chatbots. npj Mental Health Research. doi.org/10.1038/s44184-023-00047-6
5. Fang, C. M., Danry, V., Maes, P., Phang, J., Lampe, M., Ahmad, L., Agarwal, S., et al. (2025). How AI and human behaviors shape psychosocial effects of chatbot use: A longitudinal randomized controlled study. arXiv:2503.17473. arxiv.org/abs/2503.17473
6. Brown, S. L., Nesse, R. M., Vinokur, A. D., & Smith, D. M. (2003). Providing social support may be more beneficial than receiving it: Results from a prospective study of mortality. Psychological Science, 14(4), 320-327. researchconnect.stonybrook.edu/en/publications/providing-soc
7. De Freitas, J., Castelo, N., Uğuralp, A., & Oğuz-Uğuralp, Z. (2024). Lessons from an app update at Replika AI: Identity discontinuity in human-AI relationships. arXiv:2412.14190. arxiv.org/abs/2412.14190
8. Cox, D. A. (2021). The State of American Friendship: Change, Challenges, and Loss. Survey Center on American Life (American Perspectives Survey, May 2021). www.americansurveycenter.org/research/the-state-of-american-
9. Sandstrom, G. M., & Dunn, E. W. (2014). Social interactions and well-being: The surprising power of weak ties. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 40(7), 910-922. doi.org/10.1177/0146167214529799
10. Huang, K., Yeomans, M., Brooks, A. W., Minson, J., & Gino, F. (2017). It doesn’t hurt to ask: Question-asking increases liking. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 113(3), 430-452. dash.harvard.edu/handle/1/35647952
11. Kumar, A., & Epley, N. (2021). It’s surprisingly nice to hear you: Misunderstanding the impact of communication media can lead to suboptimal choices of how to connect with others. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 150(3), 595-607. doi.org/10.1037/xge0000962
12. Samaritans Ireland. Contact us (116 123, free, 24/7). www.samaritans.org/samaritans-ireland/about/governance-and-s